Friday, 17 December 2010


We are expecting a baby!!! Not "we" as in Hubby and me but "we" as in, my son and his partner are expecting a baby. this is fantastic news, there hasn't been a baby in my family for quite some time. Well not one that I get to hold anyway. I was amazed at my response when they told me the news, I squealed, for those of you that don't know me I am not a squealy sort of person. In fact recently I have some times thought that maybe I have forgotten how to have fun. I watch the squealing women on the TV screaming over stuff, Film stars, game shows, getting drunk and dirty falling out of bars, Christmas........ and I wonder, What are they getting so excited about? Is anything that exciting anymore? and then I heard this wonderful news about the baby! I cant wait, I know I will have to wait, I know it's not my Baby but WOW what a feeling as they say in the song. And then I started to dream a little, then I started to remember the moment I saw my Granddaughter for the first time. That was the day I became a believer. No, not the god thing, the day I became a believer in love at first sight. You love your own children, you laboured and brought them into the world surrounded by anxiety's and doubts, Worries that you cant take care of them properly, wont know how to feed them, dress them, get them to sleep through the night, afraid that if you don't manage to snatch 6 consecutive hours of sleep at least once this week you really will start to behave like a Rabid Mother Gerbil and eat the tiny offspring, so it would be a damn swindle if you didn't get to love them. Grandchildren are different, they are like a perfect sugary gift that smell of something indescribably wonderful and baby Talc. You know all the right things to do, even if it is forbidden to let the new mum in on your secret, and when you get to hold the new baby a warm glow spreads through you as you see a little glimpse of the baby you where to anxious and tired to fully appreciate the first time around. Anyway after I recovered from my initial excitement I pondered my own baby's and pulled out some old photo's. Oh how sad they make me feel, what amazing little boys they where, I feel a sense of loss that I can't remember more of their growing up, I would love to savour the joy of watching them sleep without the fear that I may wake them. Share their glee at painting my Freezer with gloss paint while i wasn't watching, without the feeling of guilt that I had taken my eye off of them, they where so proud of their handy work. I would like the chance to do it all again and not rush them to grow. I cant wait, did i mention that already, sorry. I am sure I will mention it again soon.

The Photograph

Captured in a moments glee
My tiny son stares back at me.
His hand on hip so glad to pose
I don’t think he even knows
The future that I see.

That photograph is put away
To pause and look another day.
The essence of a mothers Joy
Captured in that little boy.
The hope that’s kept at bay

The Image when again is found,
reminds you time has turned around.
Those dreamy childhood moments passed,
A proud young man he is at last.
To wonder and astound.

How did those years slip by so swiftly,
Slip away, pass so quickly.
Is that a tear of pride I cry,
For a forgotten memory of my boy.
For the man I knew he’d be.